/ Saturday e and I were staying at a house full of pups, in an unknown room, kissing soft, making love and just everything nice… My heart started racing so fast I thought I was going to throw up, I had the plan of finally saying “I love you” for the first time, I didn’t know how he would react, or if he’d say it back. As my heart started going into pounding mode I somehow backed out of saying it. About 20 minutes later we were laying on each other nude, kissing so soft and slow and I said I love you in a soft voice, he paused and said “I love you too”… It was a sweet moment, then Ethan blew raspberry noises on my lips a minute later and asked if he ruined the moment. How could I not be in love with this boy?
I’ve never believed in “you have to wait a few months before saying it” I believe that if that’s what you feel, you should tell the person before it’s too late, you never ever know if there’s a tomorrow. I remember in high school if you said I love you too quick they would think that you’re obsessive and weird, but now being in my early 20’s and in a long distance relationship, I’m realizing that every moment is a perfect moment and I have to take all of that in. My favorite moments are the bare moments, when there’s no clothes to separate, you’re just laying there in silence, slow blinks, slow breathing, fast heart. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I never saw Ethan coming into my life, I was always curious of who he was but I never once thought “maybe he would kiss me one day” which I used to think about any boy I hung out with. I remember last year when I went over to his house with V and I never thought anything of it, but he told me ever since we did hang out last year he’s wanted me in his life. It took us almost a whole summer to see each other alone, that first date was the best thing ever. I remember it took us so long to eat our food because we were both memorized by each other and everything we had to say. I was so nervous, I kept grabbing onto my skirt and pulling my sleeves from my sweater into my shaking damp hands. And from then on it grew into a slow relationship that took it’s time, took our time touching each other, holding hands weeks after, finally hugging, and then the night of July 4th, our kiss in your car, a kiss I’ll never forget.
I love everything about you.
And always will.